SWIMMING LESSONS

Hey,

There is something you should know. 

I know right now you’re feeling lost at sea and you’re thinking that I might be the one to pick you up and carry you to the shore. That maybe I’m your life raft, safety-net, or even your anchor.

But that’s not true. Here’s the thing. I think you’ve spent a long time listening to the voices in your head, but the problem is none of them are yours. You’re so busy trying to anticipate what answers and actions might please others that you’ve completely missed out on living your own life. I don’t think you know who you are yet.

So I need you to start swimming. You probably won’t be good at it right away but in time, you’ll learn. The thing is... I’m going to leave you. I am leaving you and you’re going to panic. So you have two choices. 

Sink or swim. 

But you’ll swim. Because you don’t need me, but you want me, and you’ll swim to try and find me, but it will be impossible.

With arms flailing, you’ll realize how important it is to catch your breath, so breathe. 

You’ll spend some time feeling a vast amount of regret for not learning these lessons sooner, but the timing is different for everyone. You may feel as though you should have learned how to swim sooner, better, faster in order to keep up but honestly, it wouldn't be enough to keep me there so none of those thoughts matter. 

Getting past this point is the hardest and afterwards you’ll be so tired, you’ll go numb. You may think, “why bother?” But, from what I saw, you’re stubborn so you’ll keep going.

Eventually,  you will be angry. I think you may be feeling that already. And you’ll be so angry that you’ll want to prove me wrong.

Well, do it! Prove me wrong. None of this matters! Do it anyways if it makes you swim. And you will be so determined to swim fast and efficient that soon you’ll be strong enough to let your mind wander. 

You will no longer have the fight for survival on the forefront of your consciousness. That was a choice that has already been made so now you can focus on the real stuff- the answers to the questions I asked you. The answers to the questions you should be asking yourself. Who are you and what do you want in life? What do you love and what do you hate?

You will be so fixated on the responses and getting to know yourself that you’ll hardly notice the distractions in the ocean. 

The other fish in the sea. 

The shells glimmering in the sand. 

The changing tides. 

Things that used to make you stop will cease to capture your attention. You’ll stop focusing on them and start focusing on yourself.

Eventually you will make it to shore, on your own. No life raft or safety-net required. 

I’ll be a far-forgotten memory of something you thought you needed but didn’t and still don’t. This much I know. 

So, I am leaving. I have left.

Now, swim.

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cng