THE MORNING OF OR MORNING AFTER
“What are you doing up this early?”
Oh fuck.
You know how you have really good days, or even just regular days where things are fine and you don’t mind being stopped to talk for a few minutes?
This was not one of those days.
This was one of those days where you are praying not to run into anyone. You want to get from point A to point B as fast as possible. You avoid eye contact at all costs and hope to slip into the background completely unnoticed and that is the exact reason why you run into people on those days. It’s the exact opposite of what you wanted to have happen. The exact opposite of what I wanted to have happened.
All of it was.
“Oh good morning!” I kind of half yell across the parking lot. It’s not a big lot but it’s early. Not *really* early, it’s like 8am but on a Saturday so a different kind of “early” from weekday “early.” Anyways, I’m quietly yelling “good morning” to Jay who lives on the street-level corner unit of our condo with a quick wave hoping that’ll be enough to continue my mission of rushing the fuck home. I’ll soon realize that it is not enough. Old people get bored. It’s just the truth.
Jay is a friendly elderly man who lives with his wife whose name I can’t remember. To be completely honest, I’m not even sure this man’s name is Jay. It may be Jerry. It may not even start with a “J” at all but, I’ve lived here for so long that it’s past the point of asking, “hey, remind me again what your name is?” So. I just don’t call out his name. But in my mind, his name is Jay.
For whatever reason, Jay more often than not catches me at a bad time. As of late, the bad times were outweighing the good.
I’m pretty sure Jay might think I’m a borderline idiot. He’s probably not the only one.
I know that Jay’s wife has a collection of jewelry that she refuses to leave at home when they go on vacation. It was a story he decided to tell me while we were outside clearing the snow off of our cars. It was one of those snowfalls where it was anticipated to be like 6 inches of snow which it never really is. I banked on it being yet another false alarm and did nothing to prepare for it. Turns out this was one of the few occasions (heavy on the few) in which someone says “6 inches” and isn’t lying.
So, Jay tells me this story about his wife accidentally leaving all of her jewelry at a hotel in New York where they stayed for one night. I listened intently while also recalling stories on the news of people having heart attacks while shoveling snow and felt I may become one of them. As I said, I did nothing to prepare. So instead of clearing off my car with a shovel and an ice scraper, I had a bucket and a broomstick.
Like I said, Jay might think I’m a borderline idiot.
Here I am, present day, in that same parking lot with Jay only this time it’s different. Maybe he really doesn’t think so, but this time for sure I felt like he didn’t look at me thinking, “she might be a borderline idiot.” This time I felt that he looked at me and thought to himself, “kid, it’s gonna get better.” Because in that parking lot at 8am I was wearing my outfit from the night before. A long sleeve bodysuit, tucked into black jeans with over the knee boots and a leather jacket. Hair was a mess and I’m not sure any make-up survived. A handle of tequila, unopened, was peeking out of my bag. There should have been nothing left in that handle to bring home. Someone younger might say, “she must’ve had a good time last night.” But Jay was not young. Jay, had quite a few miles under his belt and a daughter of his own so Jay did not think I had a good time last night. Jay knew it was too soon to offer up any hope that one day the right guy would come along and I’d look back at this moment and it would be less painful.
But, Jay was also still a bored, elderly man, so instead of asking me again what I was doing up that early, he asked me who I thought was going to win the Superbowl. And not too long after, let me continue my mission of rushing the fuck home.
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cng
