CAUTION

“What am I doing?”

I gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. I felt my heartbeat in my face and start aimlessly clawing around my purse for the pack of fruit snacks I keep on hand in case of emergencies and this, this was an emergency.

“Shit.” The light turns green. I abort my search for the fruit snacks.

“In 400 feet, turn right.” Shit. Again, my GPS has failed to provide enough of a heads-up to make my turn. In all fairness the blocks here weren’t as long as the ones back home but I did not have time to be late. I could barely see over the steering wheel of the monstrous SUV while also pressing the gas pedal at the same time. I mean seriously, “what am I doing?”

The sunset hits my eye line adding more difficulty to my pursuit and I start to realize I never turned on the AC. I fumble with the controls trying to focus on the road so I don’t miss my next turn. I press a button hoping it was the AC and hear a weird noise. A portion of the dashboard opens revealing a hidden compartment with a gun.

“Oh no, no no no, I am not cut out for this!”

I slam the compartment shut.

“In .1 miles, you will arrive at your destination.” Thank God. I am almost done. The traffic clears and I don’t know if it’s  because no one really comes this way  or because this spaceship basically overtakes both lanes. Who knows. I couldn’t even think about it, or anything really. My body was on auto-pilot, yet, I still have my hands on the wheels. My body is moving faster than my brain can keep up with or maybe it was the other way around.

I didn’t really want to do this alone or find myself alone but there was no other option. I wasn’t given a choice. At last, I pull into the lot and by miracle I have a few minutes to spare. 

I pull down the sun visor and look at my reflection in the mirror. I grab the compact in my purse and apply powder to my face hoping no one will know I was absolutely sweating bullets on the way here. 

I take a deep breath. 

And panic.

“Where did it go?”

The whole purpose was a delivery and now I couldn’t find it. I grab my purse and find it lying in wait on the passenger's seat.

Whew. Deep breaths.

“Ok, go in there, get it done, get out.” I give myself a pep talk and take one last look at the paper to make sure everything was in order. As if I would know? Ha! I had never seen so many zeros in sequence before in my life, nevertheless in my hand. It felt the same as any other paper but the value was immense. 

I was intimidated by a piece of paper. 

I open the door. It was a long way to the ground, especially in heels. I try to exit the monstrosity gracefully in case someone was watching. Who was I kidding? They’ve been watching me since the moment I pulled up, in fact they’ve been waiting for my arrival, something I wasn’t used to.

I approach the doors and sure enough, they open.

“I hope the drive wasn’t too difficult, we would have sent someone but as you know this is quite last minute.”

A voice calls from the darkness. My eyes adjust to the surroundings to find many figures in suits. Glad I opted for the heels, this was not an occasion to be under-dressed for… whatever this occasion was. I ask myself yet again “How did I get myself into this mess? What would happen next?”

I must have missed the instructions on how to handle this kind of life. If there were any. I pull myself back into the moment, trying not to miss a beat.

“Yes, well, he’s on a very tight schedule and you know how particular he is.” I respond. All of this was true so I was hoping my answer would be enough. I actually had no clue why this needed to be done today, I just knew I wanted out fast. 

“Well then, follow me right this way.”

I assumed we’d pass through the lobby but we took a turn into a staircase and climb. The sound of my heels echo as I start to take in the surroundings. I pray I don’t miss a step, knowing that it would be difficult to collect worker’s compensation for this kind of errand. 

We finally reach the top and two men part ways opening a set of doors revealing a hallway. We continue on  a path that feels like the entrance line to “It’s a Small World” and I begin to wonder when I’ll get off this crazy-making ride. At last a woman greets us bluntly.

“Do you have it?” she says,

“Yes, of course.” I reply and hand over the paper.

She does a quick once-over with a stone cold poker face. I only have so many scenarios planned out and I’m not sure how to talk my way out of this one if needed.

“Great,. We’ll take it from here.”

Thank God. 

I feel a thousand pounds lighter as the weight from my shoulders is lifted. 

I get to leave.

I all but run out of the place back to the spaceship. I never thought I’d be so excited to hop back into the vehicle which seemingly belongs to an arms dealer. 

An arms dealer who slices brains for a living. 

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